RaChEw

nothing much to update.
hahaha.. thinkin of what should i do for the next 7 months..
so many people overseas now and when they are back, im leaving.
hahha..

agency seminar was nice.
hahaha.. nigel and kent came..
thanks for the support..
kunion was EXTREMELY fun.
hahahha

must try and get the momentum back soon..
cos of some things, im quite affected this month.
my mind is in a huge mess..

supper at jb was a nice one..
been so long since we last went there..
wanted crayfish instead but we jus went to satay..
hahahaa...

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, December 18, 2009 0 Comments

its snowing. its snowing in houston!!!
OH MY!!
how i wished i was there!!
heavy snow i think!!
aunt's mail made me miss her so much!!!
i wanna see her, baby justin and darling madelene and the rest too!

i really want to maintain.
but its tough..
sigh..
i don wanna stress u but im stressed up... shit man...

posted by RaChEw @ Saturday, December 05, 2009 0 Comments

was very surprised with how i reacted in the mornin with ls baby called.
was calm and somehow expected.
thanks darling for trying to help in whatever u could.
without u i will collapse for sure.
the only time i couldn't take it was when i spoke to best and i know i will break down once again if i happen to tok to sue ann about this.

somehow this 2 people are the people who knows alot.
understands me not forgetting my darling shirley.
best who is always not showing but i know deep down she cares.
but sometimes i jus cannot take her coolness.
im worried. very worried. jus few more days left.
how? i really want to maintain but im facing so much prob.
people breaking down on the phone to me.
tryin to comfort them when i am not in a sober mind..
but still i did my best.
initially my tone was harsh but i soften down at the later part..

sue ann whom best and i really appreciate.
she's really a mummy of mine..
always there when i needed her..
no matter how busy she is, she will still take out the time for me cos she knows when im looking for her means i have smt on my mind..
thanks for everything mummy..
she's really one of best and my pillar of support.

leaving sg in about 2 weeks time..
really hope i can enjoy and then come back to sg to face reality..
but i know i will never enjoy cos i will be worried about alot of things.
worried over office, worried if they are fine, worried what if best or daughter falls sick, worried over my darling bear and gal.

whenever i hear the piece of song playing in grace blog, i feel the sadness.
i know im troublesome.
very troublesome but i cant help it.
i really don wan to add onto ur stress.. trust me. really i don wan..
but i cant help but jus feeling extremely helpless. =(
i really hope best can take my nonsense for the next 2 years and i really hope i can take hers.
2 years is all we need.

everytime i think of doin smt silly, i am pissed with myself.
but jus couldn't help it.
boss somehow told me off the other day.
telling me i am crazy.
i really don wan watever happened to cw to happen to me for i know i will regret for life.
it was after what happened to her fren, then i noticed the importance of showing appreciation out and not keep it in ourself.
i really hope to be a better person man.

really really hearts the 3 of u people.
3 of u are the most significant person now.
and i really miss aunt fong.
how i wished u were here with me.
really missed houston alot though everyone is complaining that its a boring city.
if there's a chance, i'll be heading over to the states end of next yr with best and hopefully tat, michael, shirley, amanda, rebakah, chai lin, pet and whoever are with us.

posted by RaChEw @ Friday, December 04, 2009 0 Comments

where are you when i needed you?
feeling so distant....
feeling so down..
on the verge of breaking down........
i really hope to smile and laugh happily like what i used to in the past..
really...

early night..
many thoughts running through my mind..
so many things happened and im so lost.
but who's there?
no one...
i've tried my best to make every single one who are close to me happy, but unknowingly i hurt them the most too..
yes and sorry comes out of my mouth too often..

never knowing how to reject people.
but always got rejected by people..
always saying yes caused me to feel being taken for granted many many times..
when seeing closer mates happy, im happy.
when i wanted to help them, people say i kpo.
ask me not to bother.
am i really so useless?
ur sentence really hurt me alot.. making me feel that im useless.
i really really need my best with me.
but she's always so busy..

mummy.. where are you?
i really need you.
feel like breaking down right now.

im afraid.
very scared.
why am i facing all these alone?
WHY!

posted by RaChEw @ Tuesday, December 01, 2009 0 Comments