a mixture of feelings im goin through now.
i tot im not affected at all. but somehow i realised i am.
stop asking me if im ok anot unless u are as close to me as gisela, shirley or lisan.
else don ask.
pls. jus do me tis favor.
if i wanna say, i will say.
been thinkin.
when will the time?
tis month? next month? end of yr? next yr? 10yrs later?
sometimes i jus feel damn fuckin useless.
if u donno wat im goin through, don comment nor make assumptions and accuse.
oh dear..sore throat is here haunting me.hopefully it goes away when i wake up.worst day ever.having the worst feeling.people who donno wat happened seem to be very concerned.thanks but i'll be fine.i donno y its like that.im seriously very very disappointed.testing my limit? maybe?i got no idea.i donno wat has gotten into you.and yes.i hope you wont go.feeling very evil with such thoughts.but i jus cant help it.i really need help!but whose there?FUCK IT!KNN!i miss aunt fong and prince so much.definitely missing the clique alot too.all the best for ur test nigel!all i hope for is u to answer all my prayers.
pls do and guide me.
tell me wat i should do.
-edited on 17aug 3.40am-
i'm utterly disappointed with you.pissed? maybe a little.somehow its not the first time.neither its the second time.its the third time dearest.how come its always like that?i uds ur situation..but all i ask for is jus to inform me.i was so lost.donno what to do and nobody was there to help.couldn't ask too many people cos i don wan to let so many people know.always tryin to cover up for u.but u are always uncontactable.had a good tok with s jus now.short one and we haven finished.somehow she's feelin how am i feeling too.jus that she's keepin quiet.i cant. cos you are someone close to me.on the other hand, smt small made my day.substitution? maybe.how i wished you could understand.
but sometimes i also think u r avoiding.
sometimes i jus feel tired.
really tired.
oh yes.what shocked me today was when i switched on the tv in the evening, it was IL DIVO advertisement.IL DIVO has quite a number of songs which brings back many memories.esp hero.the first piece of song i played with chimes and bells for christmas. =))
it was like 9yrs back but it feels like ytd.
was playin it with dearest lindee, joyce and many others.
i'm not a music person.
but handchimes and handbells are miracle.
they make my day!
many many memories...
attended TBC 2nd night event last night.
was hesitating but im glad i went.
so fun! HAHA!
dearest s, hopefully u will feel alright.
glad to see shirley, wai dek and rebakah having fun.
alan sent me home.
on the way home, i was asking him about his career journey and how he juggle with so many commitments.
he's always there to teach me things.
always one of the first person to pass down knowledge to me.
very thankful for that.
its now 17aug 3.41am.
somehow u r still uncontactable.
or maybe i should say i din try much.
the last time i tried was at 11.22pm.
very tired of it.
i donno how come u will become like tis.
studied first topic and it suck.
fuckin hate sch.
what shit is tis!
was it on purpose tt u did not pick it up?
i think i saw u takin ur phone out but u jus chose to let it continue ringing.
is it due to all the awkwardness?
really hope all these shit will go away!
woke up early in the mornin with a bad start.first thing tt strike my mind was once again the dream.if it becomes a dejavu, it'll be nice.so i will not be so troubled and think so much everyday.however smt small made my day today.=)
guide me.
show me the light.
dream of it once again.
3rd time i dream of it in 2 months.
though it was a happy one, it was also a scary one.when i woke up, i stoned for a while.worried that i would sleep talk.people always say dreams are opposite.and i think maybe its true. hopping father lord will guide me.
show me the light. =)
back from my short trip.enjoyed it alot.though i sweared to get at least 3 pairs of heels, i only managed to get 2.that's very sad but im satisfied cos i cant find those i love in sg.really comfortable!submit never fail to disappoint me. hahaha!on the way there, there was quite a heavy jam.total of 2 cars heading towards kl.one hyundai getz with gisela and kent in it and one honda crossroad with shirley, nigel, elijah and i in it.elijah cut tonnes of car and we reached jb shell station first waitin for kent the man. haha. he couldn't cut into our lane cos he was blocked by a stupid van i think.was very tired as i din slp the night before.heard some very bad things that made my heart sank.felt like a roller coaster.when kent and gisela reached, we headed towards wanton mee.though i hated it, it taste really nice.maybe i was too hungry! HAHAand slept 3/4 of the trip to kl. hahaachecked into our hotel.well. it was cheap but big.quite convenient cos it was like 10mins slow walk to times square.had the best lunch at vivo in times square.cab-ed to KLCC and shopped til around 7pm and headed to times square.had world best donuts.i swear its really nice!had world worst supper that night.the food suck.went back to hotel and snatched toilet from nigel and elijah.so funny! HAHAA.played sabotor til around 1.30am and all slept like dead logs.kent's initial plan was to go beach club but everyone was too tired.woke up late the next day and had a late check out.supposed to go genting early but we ended up shoppin in times square instead. got my heels and was damn happy.left kl very late. around 5pm i think.reached genting around 6pm+ and waited for kent's mom fren to bring us to our apartment.was really big.as big as a five room flat but was abit scary.spliting of rooms was definitely wierd.cos i never one sleep in the corner.feeling quite paisae cos i know everyone feels wierd.oh my.....genting was gambling all the way and we left around 4.30pm on the 3rd day.however kent accidently exit the wrong way and we got lost. hahaathen there was a very heavy jam on a donno wat highway.definitely not north south highway.hahahaareached JB around 11.30pm and went to pump petrol.wanted to go for dinner but everyone was dead tired esp kent who drove a manual car all the way himself and elijah who needs to work today.kent went to return the car while elijah sent us home.no more genting trip for the yr.genting is really boring.hahahaa. hopefully taiwan, hong kong or aus in dec?road trips + their company is shen! hahahahhahahahashirley i know u r laughin!STOP laughin at our language! hahahabelow pics are from my cam.not much of gisela cos its in her cam. will get from her soon!Day 1:
1st stop at KB shell station to pump petrol
People in the crossroad which CROSS ALL ROADS!
IL DIVO entertained shirley, nigel, elijah and i throughout the whole roadtrip!
Leaving our KL hotel towards Times Square for lunch!
Look how misty Genting was in the evening. VERY DANGEROUS!
Group photo with Elijah's Honda Crossroad!
While waitin to check into our hotel in Genting.
Photo with Hyundai Getz which Kent and Gisela drove up.
random picture! HAHA
we got lazy and gisela's cam low batt on the 3rd day.
more pics and group pic in gisela's cam.will upload soon.was disappointed cos din have sufficient time.else would have done my nails and shopped more.hahaa. o yes and gamble more. hahahaa------------------------------------------------------------------been thinkin quite alot recently.hopefully everything will be answered and that he will guide me.show me wat's the next step i should take.feeling lost and my heavy heart will always be there.hopefully history will NEVER repeat.
1st stop at KB shell station to pump petrol
People in the crossroad which CROSS ALL ROADS!
IL DIVO entertained shirley, nigel, elijah and i throughout the whole roadtrip!
Leaving our KL hotel towards Times Square for lunch!
Look how misty Genting was in the evening. VERY DANGEROUS!
Group photo with Elijah's Honda Crossroad!
While waitin to check into our hotel in Genting.
Photo with Hyundai Getz which Kent and Gisela drove up.
random picture! HAHA