RaChEw

been thinkin these days..
if whatever things which i've been doing is right or wrong..
having alot of thoughts in my mind..
randomly, i was blog hopping and i came across this childhood fren's blog.
a family friend i would say.
read her post and find it so true.
and i feel for her. all her emotions and blamed myself for not being there many many yrs ago.
but i ponder if it will ever come true for myself one day.

there's no right or wrong to keep it from the outside world.
but when things are ready, i'll let closer people know.
b'cos i really cant overcome it myself.
at times, i'll be wondering why is all these happening?
how come i am allowing all these to happen?
why in the first place would i agree to go?
will i ever regret in future?
all these answers are left unanswered by myself.
sometimes i doubt myself too.
closer people start to get suspicious but i jus dont have the courage to say it out.
wouldn't even know if courage is the appropriate word to use too.
but i know there were happy and memorable times too.
hoping to get the answer myself soon and overcome it.
still it lies with the 3 main reasons.
really donno why am i doing all these.
but i really appreciate the time spent to acc me throughout the night ytd. =)
thanks...

on the other hand, donno wat's wrong recently.
where's my engine? my motivation?
sometimes i start to question myself.
is it really for me? will i ever succeed one day?
gotta be ready for next month.
a faithful month i would say.
many many things happened.

things which i missed out..
my penang trip which i somehow looked forward to with classmates.
but on the other hand i knew i couldnt go due to commitments.
couldnt be selfish and leave my people on their own.
and also cos maybe my closer peeps were not goin too..
but sometimes i start to doubt who is true and who's not.
but well, all these are unwanted informations. =)

my kl and genting trip which i really wanted to go since 2 mths ago after darling shirley reminded me of krispy kreme.
wanted to ask the same clique up cos at tt pt of time, really wanted a break from everything.
but boss isnt available n shirley couldnt get her passport.
sigh.. and i was quite disappointed..
you asked if i wanted to go in aug due to both our work commitments.
really wondering if i should go but on the other hand i really wanna go..
esp the casino there too..

hopefully hk trip with sister will be fulfilled by oct or early nov.
a really short one when we clear everything.
jus purely for shopping!
and also jan's japan/korea trip..
will it ever come through? hmmmm..

when will u ever be back??
hopefully by cny and it'll be the best cny in the 23yrs of my life.
my happy pill madelene and handsome justin whom im really lookin forward to meet whom i know will never fail to brighten my days =)
my one and only closer one whom i would really share alot of things with..
talk openly but we only get to meet once ever 7 yrs.
how sad but im glad there's smt called msn!

posted by RaChEw @ Monday, May 24, 2010